diary

Reset days

Every since I have moved I have felt messy headed. I am just now figuring out my routine and trying to get my life in order. It’s always a process when you move and I am just glad to finally be settling.

The last couple days I have been able to slow down. I have been off work and the weather has been cloudy, chilly and rainy. On these days, I’m able to really reset and get my mind in order before the work week.

When your body and mind need rest, it’s important to give it to them. Otherwise, it will catch up with you. Your body will let you know and you’ll crash. I’m enjoying the time I have to stay inside and read my book.

– Sammy J.

4/22/2023 & 4/23/2023

The last couple days have been good. I have been focusing on my healing journey. Using the time I have to read and get things done; whether that be around the house or just self care.

Using my time wisely had been important to me. I want to use the time I have filling my head and heart with the things that glorify God.. things that are good for me.

Scrolling on social media, laying in bed longer (all day) and isolating myself is NOT good for me. I notice my mental health declines when I do those things and I am working on figuring out what things ARE good for me.

Some current things (the list is growing by the day): Reading, writing, doing chores, making my bed, getting up when my alarm goes off, making sure I eat and staying active.

If I keep myself busy, I don’t allow my mind to go to a dark place.

This is your sign to look at the things around you. Things that you’re doing in your life and ask yourself “Are these things good for me?” – if the answer is “No”, cut them out. Take the time to adjust your routine, add things that make you happy and fill you with joy. Things that make you feel confident and self-full.

You got this.

– Sammy J.

4/21/2023

Today I woke up late and started my day with such a messy head. But with some time spent in the Word, I realized God is the one in control.

I can have all these things on my plate but if I just hand them over to Him, He will lead me.

I’m learning that everyday.

I’m pretty tired so I don’t have much to say but I hope everyone had a great day.

– Sammy J.

4/20/2023

Today was a much better day.

Bad days only last 24 hours and then you can always start fresh.

Even though my work day was a bit challenging, I was able to get through it. I rarely had anxiety and that alone is success! I don’t have much else to say other than forgive yourself. Allow yourself to have great days. You deserve it.

– Sammy J.

4/19/2023

A little late on posting but 4/19 was a tough one. I have really struggled with independence and doing things for myself. By myself.

For years, I have been beaten down. I felt I couldn’t be alone. I was told I couldn’t do anything without other people.

I wanted my day off to be about getting my mind right and getting out of my comfort zone.

What did I find out?

It does not take 24 hours.

I can’t just wake up and do all these things I want to do or be independent all at once. It doesn’t work like that.

Sure I went shopping, I went on a walk, I even did all my laundry I have been putting off for MONTHS; and it helped my mental state. But when it came down to it… I wanted someone there. I felt like I needed someone there. Specifically one person. I wanted to tear myself down and tell myself I wasn’t worth it. That I wasn’t as independent as I thought I was.

But I can’t snap my fingers and make it all better at once. It takes time. I realized I have to take baby steps.

Like I always say… one day at a time.

– Sammy J.

4/18/2023

Today was a beautiful day in Northeast Georgia. Thank you God for allowing me to live another day and experience life.

It was a day full of adventures and memories being made with my best friend.

We take a lot of things for granted. The air outside, the sunshine, even the clothes we wear. We get so caught up in the things we don’t have, we miss and forget about all the things we do have.

Today I maybe took out my phone 5 times, a couple of them to take pictures. Today I tried living in the moment. That’s one thing I want to work on… living in the present. Stop trying to look back at my past or even in the future. Because truth be told the future is NOW.

Thank you for reading.

– Sammy J.

4/17/2023

I’m going to start something different with my blog. I want to record my feelings, my thoughts and all my experiences daily. This life is so beautiful while also being hard.

Today was a rough one. I feel like everyone has those days where you live in self pity and self destruction. Where you’re holding yourself down in water with your mouth covered. That’s at least how I felt today.

Today was full of emotions. I’m not sure how many times I cried, but I let it out because a cry is sometimes all a person needs. I think about my life overall and who I want to be while I’m here on Earth. Who I want to be is someone who makes everyone else happy. I’d rather put myself on the back burner and let myself burn than to take myself off when I’m starting to boil.

Today I learned that I need to be easier on myself. I also learned that my mind surely can play tricks on me. My emotions are out of control sometimes and I need to learn to take control; really grasp onto those thoughts and ask myself “Is this the truth?” Most of the time the answer is “No.”

Even though today wasn’t the best day, it was still a beautiful one. It was full of sunshine and birds chirping. Tomorrow I will wake up again and I just know it will be full of amazing things.

Thank you for reading.

Talk to you tomorrow

– Sammy J.